Profiles of Past Recipients

Kathy M.  |  Maria P.  |  Pachara Y. | Shizuka T.  |  Victoria F.

Kathy M.

At age 28, Kathy felt much older than her years. Twelve years earlier, she had dropped out of high school to marry her boyfriend, Joe. The self-described "ugly duckling" was flattered by the attention the 27 year old had paid to her, and says she "fell for him fast."

Kathy dropped out of school and soon gave birth to her first child, Sophia. Her dreams of becoming a nurse were put on hold indefinitely. "At first, things seemed good," said Kathy. "Sophia was born, and the sight of her beautiful face filled me with more love than I'd ever known."

On the outside, says Kathy, her family life looked stable. But on the inside, things were deteriorating quickly. Kathy's husband had begun acting erratically. He would tell his young wife that he was going out to get gas, and then not come home all night. She'd find beer bottles under the car seat. His once sweet talk became abusive drunken ranting. He wanted to know where his wife was at all times, and prevented her from working—despite the family's need for additional income. He was controlling and full of rage.

Kathy's husband, who worked as a roofer, rarely finished a job. The family would move so he could find work, but he would inevitably lose his job. Meanwhile, Kathy struggled to feed and clothe their growing family, subsisting on public assistance.

"It's hard to explain why I stayed with him for so long," said Kathy. "Part of it was that I felt sorry for him and felt it was my duty to take care of him. And I believed I was doing what was best for the kids. Most of all, I was terrified of trying to make it on my own." At this point, Kathy was a mother to five children, with no education and no realistic way to provide for her family. Her husband would tell her, "You've got all these kids now, nobody will want you. If you leave me, you're stuck." And Kathy believed him, for a while anyway.

Kathy reached her breaking point one night in 1992. The kids were in the living room working on a school project, laughing and having fun. Kathy's husband came in, drunk and asked her to drive him to a bar. When she refused, he stormed from the house and proceeded to wreck their car.

"It hit me like a sledgehammer," she said. "I made a vow to myself right then that by the time I was 30, I did not want to be living like that." A couple of weeks later, when her kids came home from school, she told her husband they were leaving. Kathy stuffed their belongings into bags, while her husband pleaded with her to stay. Looking at her kids, Kathy realized that she'd been doing them more harm than good by staying in the abusive relationship. Kathy and her children moved into her sister's two-bedroom house and Kathy got a job at a pizza parlor making $4 an hour—certainly not enough to make her dream of getting off public assistance a possibility.

Some time later, Kathy was at a dental appointment. She was nervous after having not been to the dentist for many years, but the hygienist was nice and helped ease her fear. "Sitting in that chair, listening to her talk, I remembered my childhood ambition to enter into the medical profession," said Kathy. "I thought to myself, ‘Maybe it's not too late.'"

Kathy spent the next several months researching the field of dental hygiene. She applied for government loans and grants, but it was only enough to cover tuition. To attend school full-time, she wouldn't be able to work to supplement the public assistance. Uniforms, car repairs and upkeep, books, plus her family's regular expenses would stretch them to the breaking point.

One day, during her first year of school, one of Kathy's professors pointed out a notice announcing the Soroptimist Women's Opportunity Awards. "As I read the requirements, I thought to myself, ‘that's me!'" said Kathy. She filled out the application, beginning her personal essay with "The last 12 years of my life have been filled with many trials...."

Kathy's compelling story resulted in her receiving awards from the local Soroptimist club and the Midwestern Region. Several months later she received a call from Soroptimist's president. Recalls Kathy: "She asked, ‘Are you sitting down?' Then she told me I had received the top award—$10,000. I was completely stunned. I turned to my kids and told them the amazing news. Did we ever have a party that night … screaming and jumping up and down!

"This award helped me so much, not only financially, but emotionally. It helped me to believe that I really could make it. I don't know how we would have made it without Soroptimist's help. At last, my life, and the lives of my children had hope and direction."

Kathy went on to realize her dream of a career as a dental hygienist where she said she earned more working four days a week than she did in a whole month on public assistance. She met her current husband on one of her many trips to the hardware store when she was on her own. She and her husband, who live with their kids in a country home on eight acres of land, later bought a hardware store. Kathy says that her story, including how she received the Women's Opportunity Awards, convinced the bank to finance the loan for the store.

"I've always heard that hard times build character. If that's true, I must be quite a character by now," states Kathy. "But I know that I'm a better person for it. I'm stronger and I've learned a lot, like how to believe in myself. I have grown so much. I have a deeper sense of self worth and a lot more confidence in myself. I feel a great deal of inner peace."

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Maria P.

Maria P., a past Women's Opportunity Awards finalist, exemplifies a woman with an unstoppable desire to change her life. Born in Mexico, Maria was married at age 14 and immigrated to the U.S. shortly after her wedding. By age 19, Maria had given birth to two children.

At 23, faced with the responsibility of raising two young children and hoping to stabilize her family's finances, Maria decided to join her husband as a field laborer. Shortly after, her husband left her and their two children. Maria continued working as an unskilled laborer for 17 years. "I stayed alone with my children, and worked in the fields," she said. "The only thing I knew how to do was cut and pack lettuce."

At 32, Maria remarried, and her new marriage brought her another child and the opportunity to attend a local junior college. "I always dreamed of going back to school, but for one reason or another, I could never enroll," she said. Eventually, Maria summoned the courage to further her 6th grade education. "I decided to enter school because it was going to give me a brighter future. My youngest son was my motivation," stated Maria. "I did not want to see him doing the same unskilled labor that I did."

At 40 and with her second husband's encouragement, Maria left the fields—and her family's second source of income—and began attending English as a second language (ESL) classes. Soon after her classes began, though, her husband's support tapered off when the family's finances became unstable. "When he realized that we were struggling because I couldn't work in the fields while attending school, he gave up, saying, ‘You do what you want but I can't stay here anymore.' So he left," Maria said.

With no income, Maria felt obligated to drop out of school and return to work in the fields. Her husband's refusal to pay child support made Maria feel as though she had no alternative to abandoning her dreams of learning English and earning her general equivalency diploma (GED). She said, "I was upset because I wanted to stay in school, where I was learning and creating a better future for my children." Her eldest daughter, who was also a student at the time, intervened, telling Maria about tuition assistance through the college's work-study program. "‘You can do it,' she said to me. ‘You don't need to drop out of school,'" Maria said.

Maria was placed in a work-study program, working in the school's library and then as a laboratory assistant in her school's chemistry lab. She continued with her ESL studies and earned a GED and a certified nurse's assistant designation in 2001. She applied for and received a Women's Opportunity Award on the local Soroptimist club. She went on to win an additional cash award from Soroptimist's Desert Coast Region before receiving the $10,000 finalist Women's Opportunity Award.

Recently, Maria was accepted into a nursing program, and began her course of study. "I've liked medicine ever since I can remember," she said.

Once Maria graduates and earns her registered nurse designation, she plans to work as a nurse while continuing her studies. Her work as a lab technician has inspired her to further pursue her interests in medicine and science. "I want to become a microbiologist," she said. "My work in the science lab showed me that I liked investigating how microbes grow and how diseases work."

Maria credits the Women's Opportunity Awards with giving her the financial means to fulfill her dream. "I am very proud of myself," she said. "The Women's Opportunity Awards have given me the support I needed to continue my studies. I no longer worry about how I will stay enrolled in my classes."

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Pachara Y.

Pachara, a young Thai national, moved to Japan more than a decade ago to marry her husband. Although she was in unfamiliar surroundings in a culture very different from her own, Pachara experienced a brief period of happiness before her life took an unexpected turn.

Shortly into their marriage, Pachara's husband developed an alcohol abuse problem. "Every time he had alcohol," she recalled, "he became violent."

Despite his abusive tendencies, Pachara stayed with her husband and gave birth to three children. Unfortunately, her husband's violent outbursts continued to escalate. Though she wanted to leave, her status as a Thai immigrant would have made it difficult for Pachara to establish permanent residency in Japan. She felt trapped in a loveless, violent marriage in a country that was not her own.

After nine years of marriage, Pachara finally left with her children and moved into HELP, a domestic violence shelter. Soon after, her husband died and his family disinherited Pachara and her children. She was unable to return to her homeland because her children are Japanese citizens. Pachara was all alone with three young children to support.

Pachara proved to be a resilient and courageous young woman. She found her own place to live, and now supports herself with public assistance and a part-time job. She also serves as a volunteer Thai interpreter at the HELP shelter, giving back to other women in need. With the aid of shelter staff, she is applying for permanent resident status in Japan.

Pachara's compelling story prompted the Soroptimist club in Musashino, Japan and the Japan Higashi Region to choose her as their Women's Opportunity Awards recipient. Pachara was later named a Women's Opportunity Awards finalist, for which she received the top award of $10,000.

Pachara dreams of pursuing a career in nursing and helping those in need, but must first improve her Japanese reading and writing skills. She is using her Women's Opportunity Awards to attend the Shinijuku Japanese Language School.

"I look forward to building a stable life for my children, raising them to be fine adults, and living my precious life," Pachara stated. "The Women's Opportunity Award has given me a lot of courage, and I will continue to do my best in whatever I do."

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Shizuka T.

Shizuka T. is an inspiration to women everywhere. After a painful bout with post-partum depression, which led to marital difficulties and divorce, Shizuka, a native of Japan, was left to raise her two sons alone.

Divorce is less common in Japan than in some other countries in the world, which creates additional hardships for women. Relying on the support of her friends and family, Shizuka opened Kid's Garden, a childcare center that offers free and low-cost childcare to working women and single mothers. "She is respected for her rich sensitivity and generous personality," said Teru Ogi, the local Soroptimist club member who encouraged Shizuka to apply for a Women's Opportunity Award.

Though she has already accomplished a great deal with the Kid's Garden, Shizuka wants to provide improved services to the children and families at her center. "In order to play such a role," she said, "I must acquire a deeper knowledge than a nursery school teacher."

Initially, Shizuka did not believe she would be able to attend college and support her family. Then she learned of an internet-based learning program that allows her to study while raising her children and running her business.

Shizuka, a Women's Opportunity Awards finalist, is using her award to study child psychology online at web-based Musashino Women's University. She plans to eventually become a counselor at Kid's Garden. "It's very important for me to pursue my role in society as an independent person, not as the wife of someone," she said.

"I am truly grateful to receive such a wonderful award, and I would like to say ‘thank you' from the bottom of my heart," added Shizuka. "This is truly something I could not have imagined several years ago. I would like to express my deepest gratitude to those who led me to where I am now and to those who gave me this opportunity."

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Victoria F.

In November 1988, Victoria F. called her family and a few close friends to help her pack her and her six children's belongings. Her friends showed up with boxes and trucks, taking what they could before Victoria's husband came home from church.

It took 14 years of abuse to build up the courage: It only took three hours to leave. "I knew if he showed up while we packed, I would be hurt," said Victoria, domestic violence survivor and Women's Opportunity Awards recipient. "My fear prevented me from packing anything. Many of my personal effects were left behind, most of which he destroyed."

Domestic abuse had slowly entered Victoria's life, beginning with hurtful words. Gradually, her husband's verbal abuse ate away at her self-esteem, and she was isolated from her family and friends. When she became vulnerable and completely dependent on her husband, the physical abuse erupted, threatening her family's safety. It was not long before a plague of violence spread through the household and the children became additional targets for his outbursts.

When Victoria first reached out for assistance to deal with her husband's abuse, she was advised on ways not to "make him mad." This reinforced her husband's belief that his actions were justified. "He thought that he was only trying to improve us," Victoria said. Unfortunately, this also led Victoria to believe that she was to blame for the abuse. "It took three years before I could admit that I had been abused. The word abuse had such an ugly ring to it," she stated.

After Victoria left, she divorced her husband and became the sole breadwinner for her six children. Receiving no child support payments from her ex-husband, she realized that she needed to earn more money to support her family. She shuffled from one low-paying job to the next. When she found a part-time job that offered a decent salary, Victoria enrolled in college to gain the skills necessary to better support her family. In school she discovered a love of learning and, more importantly, a passion for teaching.

During a particularly difficult semester, in which she was balancing her job, raising her children, and taking four college courses, Victoria's children were subjected to a harrowing instance of their father's abuse. The lasting traumas from this and other incidents led to the diagnosis of inherited mental illness in five of Victoria's six children.

It was at this point in Victoria's life that she was sent a copy of the Women's Opportunity Awards application "I was so overwhelmed with work, school and the increased needs of my children, that I almost didn't fill out the application," she said.

At the last minute, Victoria completed the application. "As I filled out the application, I was forced to reflect upon my life. I realized where I had been, what I had overcome, where I was at, and where I wanted to be," she said. "I realized I had friends and family members who believed in and supported me. Most importantly, I realized I was a survivor. I felt capable and confident for the first time in months."

Victoria was named the recipient of the local Soroptimist club's Women's Opportunity Award, and she received a $250 cash award. As a recipient of the organization's Rocky Mountain Region award, Victoria received an additional $3,000. Victoria went on to become a $10,000 awards finalist. In addition to the award money, Victoria received continuing moral support from the local club. She kept in contact with them while she finished her bachelor of arts degree.

Since June of 1995, Victoria has been teaching math, English and reading at a middle school in Utah. She is involved with the school's Math Engineering and Science Achievement (MESA) program, which targets minority and at-risk students wishing to attend college and pursue careers in math and science. Victoria never forgot the assistance she received from Soroptimist and used her first paycheck to join the local Soroptimist club.

An active Soroptimist, Victoria came full circle and served as the club's Women's Opportunity Awards chair. Stated Victoria: "I am truly grateful to be a former recipient."

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